i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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