Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
