Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
