My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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