I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
