YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
