gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
