So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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