shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
