hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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