Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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