It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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