It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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