I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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