Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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