Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
