Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
