BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I didn't notice because vodka
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
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