After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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