does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
