my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
