She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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