Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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