I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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