dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
pray to the hookup gods
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
