I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
