I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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