JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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