Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
