The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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