and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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