when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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