Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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