brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
