I wish I could teleport
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My pussy is not your playground.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
