Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
