Cold hands, warm shart.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
