Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
my poor anus
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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