32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
