its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
