Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think my moral compass just broke
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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