Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
