Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
