halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
