at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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