Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
