so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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