we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
