He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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