I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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